So, it’s been a rough two weeks or so. More calls to the law officers on the home front, as well as doctor visits and etc etc. Not worth sharing, really. Yesterday was a particularly bad slice of hell, as I managed to let some kind of bug or toxin into my system. Shared a veggie pizza with Elijah on Saturday that I think was the carrier, but he didn’t get sick. Maybe it’s all his clean living? Either way, Sunday is mostly a blur of pain, sweating, and nausea. I’m feeling quite a bit better today, but took it kind of easy this morning just the same. Tried to get up at the usual time and found looking at a monitor had me breaking out into a cold sweat. A few more hours sleep and I was able to get back on the job.

This week is going to be primarily spent readying for E3 next week. It’s traditionally been the biggest event in videogaming, where publishers roll out all the information on upcoming games to get players tempted for the fall releases. The last few years have seen it decreasing in value, to press and gamer alike. I’m not particularly looking forward to it, to be honest. Going to be a lot of work for I’m-not-sure-how-much in return.

I’m looking at it as an opporunity. It’s going to be a big challenge, operating in one of my least-favorite cities and dealing with an event I fundamentally don’t care about. I’m still going to have to produce, and produce well - “real” work as opposed to the day-to-day focused activities I find myself doing at Massively.

Next month is Gen Con and the month after that is AGDC - both of which I have a lot of appreciation for. GenCon in specific is pretty much my only annual vacation, and this year’s going to be a ‘big deal’. The new edition of Dungeons and Dragons will weigh heavily on the event, and I’m going to be spending some time with the associates at Gamers with Jobs. New and old meeting in a delicious blend of taste sensations.

I also want to note (not that anyone probably recalls) that I’m still very much on-track with my diet. I’ve got an entire month of notes down in my spreadsheet now, with July ticking nicely along … not that yesterday had much in the way of food to note. Since the beginning of the year I’ve lost about 30 pounds, though much of that was the result of exercise and not dieting. Now with my dieting pretty well in place I’m going to try to add exercise back into the equation (after E3, I’m thinking). This combination of diet and exercise is the lifestyle alignment I just couldn’t get right last year - I think it’ll be really important for me.

See, stuff like this is why I absolutely love Fourth Edition. This is a stat block for a new kobold released today in a new Dragon Magazine article. It’s called the “Vermin Handler.”

I just love this schtick! You can see him using that Vermin Cage ability clear as day. He sort of scuttles to the side of a battle, picks out the most heavily armed fighter, and chucks his box of bugs right at the melee guy’s head! Bugs and wood go flying and the poor bastard with the sword has to swat and swear at his armor until he kills most of them off. Brilliant.

Of course, my players aren’t facing down this guy. I’ve got a couple of much nastier tricks up my sleeve. Hee! I’m still not one of those GMs that thinks its his job to kill the PCs, but I can’t help but cackle with glee that finally - FINALLY - I’ve got some toys of my own to play with.

I’ve never had someone request a blog post before, but Alan did so via email yesterday. I feel inclined to acquiesce.  This is the story of what can happen when three college-age gamers stay up way too fragging late having fun with what they do.

…

Also, I should point out that tabletop roleplaying is not *all* wanton violence and murder. It’s actually a very subtle mix of storytelling and tense action; the best moments I’ve experienced at a gaming table are locked in my head just as vividly as any movie. This … em … is not one of those moments.

So, warning: incredibly juvenile, inappropriate humor coming up. This was done at like 3 in the morning during college, and was almost certainly one of the most innocent things happening at that hour in Iowa City’s downtown. Don’t take this out of context and be horrified please (Mom).

The scene: Myself, Joe Rheaume, and Brian De Smet are bored. Now, today, I can’t remember the last time I was bored or had ‘nothing to do.’ But apparently this was something that could still happen back in college. Luckily, we were all gamers with vivid imaginations and there were RPG sourcebooks to hand. Joe and I were visiting Brian in Iowa City, where he went to college. It was a nice enough place, but not exactly a happenin’ place even on weekends.

We set out to resolve our boredom through gaming. To that end, the night sky found us ambled our way down the main street connecting one side of the Iowa City campus with t’other. It was already late, probably around midnight, and the only noise we could hear was the occasional hoot or holler from a drunken frat dude. Otherwise it was just us, the stars, and the odd-smelling river.

Across campus from Brian’s dorm room was a student lounge open 24/7. It had stocked vending machines, comfortable chairs and (important during a sweaty near-summer visit) it was cool and dark. We found a nice area with a table and set up. I hadn’t planned anything in advance and (since this was one of the very few instances I gamed during college) I was pretty rusty. So I kept it simple.

Joe and Brian were hired by a shifty Johnson (a company man paid to hire illicit employees) to hunt down and capture a wayward wageslave. They met him (if I recall) at a greasy late-night pizza joint, and the dude was fairly straightforward about the whole thing. He lives in X apartment building, we think he’s jumping ship to Y corporation, just take him alive and bring him in so we can get this sorted out.

The two of them took the hint, and boosted a delivery van from behind the pizza place for some unscheduled deliveries. Looking back on it now, I should have had them deal with some sort of sidetrek; maybe a mandatory delivery or something. As it was, they made it to the apartment building with no trouble.

The block was a midscale highrise near the water; nice enough to have a doorman but not so nice that a routine visit like a pizza guy would get the 3rd degree. They parked the van in the subterranean parking structure and then headed up. At some high-numbered floor, they got off of the elevator and headed to his place. They were just approaching his doorway (about halfway down the hallway) when he left his apartment and saw the two ‘pizza guys’. Combat ensued and he made a break for it. He makes it to the emergency staircase, and some sudden pyromania on the players’ part allowed him to make good his escape.

At his point shots have been fired and the logical thing would be to leave the building, but they were determined. The guys’ door had been (deliberately) left open, and they entered his apartment to use his connection to the building network. They determined, via illicit use of video cameras, that he was somewhere between the fifth and seventh floors. That was as far as they could track him before they lost him - and the cops (a company known as Lone Star) were on their way.

They fed a false signal to Lone Star to buy them some time, and then made their way to the lower floors to search for him. At this point … it was very late. Something inside them broke, and what had up until this point been (I think) a pretty good game turned weird. See, I was doing the rusty/rookie GM mistake of assuming that they’d do something. In this case, I assumed that they’d look in his apartment to see if maybe he had any friends or family in the building. He did, in fact - a girlfriend on the seventh floor. But they had no way of knowing that and I was too tired/inexperienced to convey that fact to them eloquently.

So they started a search. They split up, with each runner taking one floor. The runners were doing no better than I was on the tired front. On floor 6, Joe proceeded to start yelling their target’s name. To this day, I have no idea why. He went up and down the corridor yelling his head off looking for his target. At one point and old man game out asking him to keep it down, and threats were made. The old man went back inside, assuring Joe that he was “calling the Star.”

Meanwhile, down on 5, Brian was making fateful decisions that would lead to gaming history. He was playing more of an action-y kind of character, and took the position that a blunt hammer was the best way to solve this problem. So he kicked down each door as he went down the hallway, looking for his target. No avail, as he wasn’t on 5. But more and more people were frightened and upset, and more calls were made to Lone Star.

Realizing their mistake, both Joe and Brian reconvened on 7 and combined their approach. This resulted in a sort of muffled noise from one particular apartment, a noise they heard even before the door was kicked down. Brian cracked open the door, and found himself face to face with his quarry - at which point the freaked out and sort of sprayed down the apartment with bullets. It was late, we were all getting tired of playing, and the caffeine was now leaving our systems; it’s understandable that mistakes were made.

To sort of drive the point home about what he’d done, I did some rolling to check where the girlfriend was at the time and -sure enough- she was in range of the bullets. They entered the flat to find that not only was their target dead in the kitchen, but his girlfriend was deceased on the floor of their living room. To really twist the knife, I decided to have the woman’s son enter the scene at this point, sleepily rubbing his eyes as he exit’s the back bedroom.

He takes in the scene, adopts a feared expression, and asks “Is that blood?”

Brian looks me dead in the face, serious as can be, and says, “No son. That’s magic Easter juice.”

If you’ve ever met me in person, you’re probably already aware that I’m not really hung up on style. To be honest, on a day to day basis I care more about how my avatar looks than I do about what I’m wearing. Oh EQ2’s appearance armor system - if only you were in every game.

Fundamentally, that lack of interest in my physical appearance is a symptom of my general priorities in life. Some people are very grounded in the physical, the emotional, the present and the realized. I’m very much one of those castle-in-the-air idea guys, more interested in the intellectual, the educational, the future and the possible. Generally so is Katie, which is probably why we have to take on mammoth cleaning projects sometimes (heh).

That’s the causative factor for my generally informal appearance, but it expresses itself in a number of other ways both positive and negative. I think I’m a decent writer, for example, and I’m not a bad guy to have around when you’re doing crossword puzzles. I’m also fat. Out of shape, obese, overweight, whatever you’d like to call it, my general disinterest in my physical existence has meant that food was never something to consider, really. As such, I’ve got some pretty screwed up eating habits - the result is visible even at a glance; I’m not a tiny guy.

That said, I think I’ve always ‘carried my weight well’, which is an odd saying. I’m not one of those dudes that you sort of shift your eyes away from when he rolls into a room; I’m just fat. I’ve always needed to lose some weight, for as long as I remember, and out through college that gap between ‘need to lose’ and ‘really should lose’ got bigger. This period culminated during my time working at Douglas Stewart, when literally the only time I felt like I could get some degree of control over my lot in life when I was going through a drive through. That was an expensive and extremely unhealthy way of looking at life, and I think I’m still paying it off.
I’ve been in a healthier place for a long time now, but I’ve only off-and-on approached the subject of my health with any seriousness. I’m happy to say that one of those time is now, and I have hopes that this time, unlike all the other times, I’m really going to get into some positive habits that will stand in good stead.

My friend Alan and my mother-in-law Libby are kinda-sorta inspirational here, having gone through their own weight-related challenges in the last few years. I’m taking a page from their book and tackling this subject in a way that makes me comfortable. In this case, it’s actually very similar to what Alan used: calorie counting. He called it ‘Weight Watchers’, and I’m using an online document called ‘The Hacker’s Diet’. No Mountain Dew involved, I can assure you.

Basically, it’s Weight Watchers done with some math, a few spreadsheets, and a bit of planning. I used it very successfully for two months early last year before going through a rough patch and losing my way. This time around I’m seeing similar successes, but feel a lot more involved in process generally. I think (overall) I’ve made a lot of good choices about my life in the last year, and I want to be an important part of the ongoing bug fixing I do on my existence.

Here’s hoping I get the routine running correctly this time. If I do, maybe I’ll have a few more options in the clothing department.

Sometimes your life gets too cluttered. If it’s anything like mine, way too cluttered. Old receipts, bills, clothes, books, software, manuals, movies, videogames, dishes, silverware, pots, pans, tchotchkes, comics, bags, chairs, tables, desks, personal electronics, toys, stuffed animals … the amount of stuff in my little tiny apartment is staggering.

So I’m doing away with some of it, simplifying, in an effort to streamline my existence. The easiest thing to do is donate some old clothes. I’ve had t-shirts from my high school days sitting in the back of our closet for years now. Old shoes … I even found an old pajama t-shirt I thought I’d worn into oblivion. It’s interesting and insightful to go through your old things and defrag a bit.

My next project is going to be my books. With my new Kindle in the house, all the dead tree I own is just a liability. Even my gaming books, traditionally objects I’ve viewed with an unhealthy reverence, are going to go under the chopping block this time. Old editions of main books, sourcebooks aplenty, cheap fantasy novels — stuff I’m never going to read again. It’s all going out via the ministrations of Amazon or Frugal Muse (our favorite used book store).

The current project (before I get to the books) is to finish the clothes. See, I’m all set, but Katie … not so much. I quite literally had to explode our bedroom in order to get a full look at the situation - and it’s not pretty. I’m surrounded by her shoes, dresses, and such, and we’re going to have to go through all of it before we get our living room OR our closet back.

I’m going to cop to this: it was kind of a dick thing, forcing the issue. But sometimes the clutter gets too bad, and you’ve got to do a forced defragging. This was one of those times, and I think our movement around the apartment (and through life in general) will be improved by it.

I fear you’re going to have to bear with some interminable D&D-related discussion over the next several months. I’m once again at the head of the table, doing my game master thing for a group of unlucky players. This time around, it’s the fourth edition of Wizards of the Coast’s Dungeons and Dragons, and I’m almost speechless with excitement. I’ve been waiting to do this for the better part of a year, and now that the hour is at hand I find myself a little taken aback by the game’s promise.

Sunday myself and a group of friends sat down to get characters created. A good time was had by all relaxing and enjoying the company of fellow gamers. The party is Katie, Erich, Jeff, Ben, and Jeff’s friend Matt, who I’ve had the pleasure of meeting only a few times before. It’s always interesting gaming with someone new, but in a way that’s sort of the point. Getting to try out old tricks on new people, seeing new ways of dealing with the usual encounters … it’s all awesome.

I’ve recently realized that if my experience playing tabletop RPGs was a person, they’d be able to vote. My first system was TMNT & Other Strangeness, and my first player was my aunt. That was actually my first gaming experience ever, being the GM. Very foreshadowy. My first experience as a player was as a short-lived mutant weasel. That was a sad night in New York City’s harbor.

Now during the week I’m finding it ever-so-enjoyable to work out encounters and plot for the game. It’s mostly been me noodling story concepts, actually, because coming up with actual encounters is really, really easy. The new rules are so easy that I would feel comfortable completely winging a session, if I were inclined to do so. Sometime down the road I may even do that (without telling the players) just to see what it’s like.

For thiscoming Sunday, I’m setting the stage for all of what’s to come - hopefully, an interesting but not driving plotline peppered with unique combat encounters. This time it’s all coming out of my brain, no safety net. Not even a real campaign setting, just the ‘points of light’ pastiche they give you in the main books and the preview tomes.

Should be fun.

It’s been kind of a long week. Tuesday was … bad. Extremely bad. So bad it wrecked our evening and made Wednesday pretty much a wash.

Almost since we moved in here we’ve had trouble with the people who live upstairs. It would be generous to say that cotton batting separates the two floors, and so almost every movement they make (subtle or not) is translated into punishing sound waves. With Katie’s headache, it’s been rough. We’ve worked with the office, we’ve tried to get them to understand the problem, and nothing has worked.

To some extent, it’s just something you have to deal with when it comes to apartment living. Hearing unappetizing sounds like toilet flushes, catching strains of incomprehensible music, even enduring co-ed gymnastic events … well, I lived in a dorm for four years. It’s not much different. However, there are differences between this and dorm living. For example, it costs a lot of freaking money to live here. I pay insurance, utilities, etc, etc … and so I expect a few things out of apartment living that I didn’t from dorm living.

First and foremost is the ability to not be threatened by bullying idiots. That’s been a problem with these people, on more than one occasion. Second: I expect not to be lied to, to be treated like the adult I’m pretending to be. Third: Real-world rules apply. This is the big-time now, no more schooling, no more books.

That last bit has been a sticking point over the last two weeks. I ended up calling the cops on them *last* Tuesday because of a domestic disturbance. Think those ‘The More You Know’ ads about not ignoring warning signs and you’ll have some idea of what I experienced.

This Tuesday, to make it a fun anniversary of the last time around, they started smoking pot. A lot of pot. “Now Michael”, I know you’re saying, “don’t be a fricking prude. It’s their place and they can do what they want.” I completely agree. I couldn’t care less what they do in the privacy of their own apartment. The problem is twofold, though. 1.) When they’re stoned they bang around, a lot. Like, knocking safes onto the floor banging. 2.) More seriously, because this complex was designed by geniuses, their pot smoke filters down through the vents into our apartment. Specifically into our bathrooms. My assumption is that they turn on their ventilation systems and it sucks their pot-shitty air down through our vents.

Normally the doors to our bathrooms are left standing open, but this past Tuesday a stray gust of air had blown it shut. Fast forward to later that night, as the idiots upstairs are deep into ganja territory, and you have a recipe for hilarity. Opening the door almost made me throw up. It certainly made me sick to my stomach. So I did what I had to do, what they’d forced me to do by being so unbelievably stupid. I called the cops again.

I don’t like doing it, I don’t enjoy doing it. In fact, I hate doing it. I’m no ‘narc’. As long as you’re not hurting me and mine you can do whatever the hell you want. But, you damn hippies, was over the line. You hear me, you bleeding hippies?

In any case, they’re out on their asses at the end of next month. The complex isn’t going to renew their lease and they were heading off to ‘greener’ pastures anyway. Just a month and half of their nonsense to put up with.

Here’s hoping it goes by quickly.

Cory Doctorow is a talented writer and a world-renowned blogger. His work at Boing Boing marks him as a unique snowflake and I’ve generally enjoyed my experiences with his published works in the past. Little Brother, though, is a cut above. It’s a teen book, filled with all the stuff teenagers like: sex, flipping the bird at folks in authority, and a protagonist with a chip on his shoulder. It’s also a thinly veiled guidebook on how to maintain some degree of privacy in a not-too-distant future of invasive technologies and social mores.

Using almost entirely-real-world tech and just a bit of imagination, Doctorow summons up a tomorrow that’s eerily plausible. A terrorist attack in San Francisco drops the DHS onto the Bay like a ton of bricks. The normally freewheeling culture of the SF region becomes a locked-down zone of cameras, RFID tracking chips and constant police surveillance. What’s especially fascinating is that we get to see multiple sides of this story. To privacy loving individualists like the protagonist, it’s a living nightmare. To older folks, scared into silence by a repressive government and hazily looming threats, it’s not that bad. Doctorow doesn’t shirk away from the hard questions and the sometimes-harder answers required of the entirely-plausible situation he conjures up.

Despite my limited technical background, the tech elements of the book are some of the most engaging I’ve yet read. All should be very approachable for teens, but head-on deal with real inventions and their repercussions. The book details routing protocols on the internet, the uses and reasons behind RFID tracking, how email works, how to protect yourself from scammers and spammers, and even a shortform explanation of how crypto works. Think of it as “Cryptonomicon for kids”, an analogy Doctorow invites by referencing Stephenson’s book in his ‘thank you’ section. He also thanks Slashdot, a site I was working for during most of the time he was writing the book … so that’s pretty neat.

If you like the idea that people should read your email, think The Man deserves a good boxing about the ears once in a while, or have ever referred to the Department of Homeland Security as “Security Theatre”, you’ll probably dig this book. It’s relatively short, emminently readable, and well worth passing on to a teenager near you. Yeah, the protagonist and his girlfriend end up having sex - but it’s very specifically safe sex, and everything happens off-camera.

Little Brother offers strong, self-aware messages, a positive attitude about the future of technology, and a protagonist well worth emulating for any young man or woman still figuring out the early 21st century. Give it a shot.

Brian recently asked that I start doing a weekly wrapup of stuff that I’m particularly proud of. I don’t think that’s a terribly bad idea. Here’s the update for today through last week:

• As I’ve mentioned here before, I wrote *a lot* about Warhammer. There’s a handy wrap-up post on Massively that will link you back to all the articles I got out.
• Made an appearance in three podcasts last week: My own MMOG Nation Broadcast hit #9. Massively’s weekly ‘cast hit #8, and I did a guest spot on Shut Up We’re Talking.
• I’m a referenced commentator for an article about Blizzard’s merger with Activision; it’s a really really big deal, if you don’t follow games industry news.
• My first appearance in a print magazine is this week, with my article about ’small’ MMOs taking a bow in the pages of Game Developer Magazine.
• I had the chance to weigh in on the fourth edition of D&D in a pretty noteworthy place. Wired ran a pair of articles I ginned up on the subject; I’ve gotten some really nice comments from folks about them already.

Oh wait. You still need to use AT&T with them. Nevermind. Call me when I can stick with Verizon, Apple!